Today is the last day of my first semester as a freshman in college. What a ride. I must say it has been a roller coaster of emotions. I am officially not enrolled for the spring. Im moving back to Austin, and I am NOT happy about it. Even though I love Austin more than anything, it’s the fact i have to be back home. with my mother. that I don’t necessarily get along with. not that I’m really crazy about San Antonio but i seriously have great friends here and the best roommate EVER. I’ve literally been crying all day. I can’t help it. I fucking cried in HEB. and the bookstore. it’s not good. I hate being so emotional. I’ve been so worried this would happen and it has. and there is literally nothing I can do. I have no money, no cosigner, and no car. I keep trying to think positive about this. Like it’s just another crazy adventure in life that i might as well embrace since I can’t really control things.
This might not be the exact way I pictured it but nothing is what it seems. I can’t predict anything. I can just go with what is happening and enjoy life. even if it isn’t the typical college students life. But then again, why would I want to be typical right? I guess. Just another chapter of my life beginning. Its so sudden, who knows what will happen. I just want to be more carefree. because I’ve literally gotten a few hours of sleep every night and I’ve lost like 5 pounds in a week(ish) from forgetting to eat and just not feeling like I want to. which is highly unlike me. I don’t know and I don’t really care anymore. As long as I am reunited with my bestfriends and my love. (bertoooo) *cough cough. All i have to think is that it’s only one semester and we’ll be together. Thats really the only thing I want and I will go through whatever it takes to get there.
Also there is a possibility that I could get this free garage apartment. So everyone say a little prayer or something. Because that would definitely help things not be so bad. maybe? maybe.
gah. I dunno. I’m just gonna shut up now.
